Fill out our Daily Orange reader survey to make our paper better


Humor Column

Why I’m not blue SU returned to the ‘BLUE’ level

Katelyn Marcy | Senior Staff Illustrator

Now that masks are once again required in academic spaces, students no longer have to hide their facial reactions in class or see other students’ chin moles, Hunt says.

Get the latest Syracuse news delivered right to your inbox.
Subscribe to our newsletter here.

We all remember where we were when we first heard the news that Syracuse University had decided to return back to the “BLUE” masking level. Actually, I really don’t remember where I was. Which is probably a poor reflection of my memory because it happened on Monday morning.

With fewer than four weeks until the end of the semester, SU has come to the landmark decision that masks will be required in classes once again. Student reactions have been mixed, with some saying, “What in God’s name does ‘BLUE’ mean again?” and others arguing, “I don’t know what ‘BLUE’ means and I’m not reading that long ass email.”

In all honesty, I understand the administration’s choice to return to the “BLUE” masking level comes from a place of concern for SU’s staff and students. And it is important we protect the people around us from COVID-19. But like everything else in my life, I have to make this all about me.

My initial reaction to the news was anger. We had come so far since the beginning of the semester. What happened? Where did we go wrong? I had just become adjusted to seeing people’s mouths, noses and chin moles that they should definitely have a dermatologist check out. But now everything is going to change. No more mouths. No more noses. No more chin moles. The horrible days of fantasizing about what our peers look like underneath their masks has returned. We will once again live in a constant state of anxiety wondering what that one hot guy from our political science class looks like underneath that mask. He’s hot from the nose up, but what if he has a goatee? Or worse, one of those pre-pubescent rat ‘staches? What if he takes his mask off one day and he has only four very yellow teeth?



Once the news had settled that the campus mask policy will change, I began to reflect. My initial anger passed and a feeling of almost tranquility swept through my body. I came to several realizations in that moment that helped me accept the returning mask mandate.

With a mask on, I wouldn’t have to control my facial reactions during class. Starting today, I’m free to smile, cry or even laugh silently to myself. I could have my mouth wide open all class and no one would ever know.

I also wouldn’t be forced to smell anyone’s open-mouth coffee breath anymore. With a mask as a safety barrier, no coffee breath could ever penetrate the sensitive crevices of my poor nostrils again.

Lastly, I don’t have to worry about my appearance during class anymore. I could have the biggest, nastiest, ooziest nose pimple the world had ever seen and no one would ever know. With a mask on, I could wear that horrible shade of orange lipstick that I only bought because the Sephora employee claimed it would look amazing on me — it didn’t. Instead of focusing on my appearance during class, I can now focus on more important things, like playing 2048 and pretending to pay attention.

membership_button_new-10





Top Stories