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Editor’s note: This column contain mentions of suicide and self-harm.

For almost two decades, Rob McClanaghan has trained basketball’s elite. His big break came in the 2008 NBA pre-draft process, where he showcased his innovative drills training Kevin Love and Russell Westbrook in front of Jerry West and Gregg Popovich. 

But in November of 2011, McClanaghan’s success came to a sudden halt. His father unexpectedly passed, leaving McClanaghan devoid of someone he looked up to throughout his childhood. Yet, McClanaghan threw himself back into training his players.

In 2019, he almost took his own life.

“(Throwing himself back into work) was kind of a trigger,” McClanaghan said. “I was worried that other trainers would be picking up my clients, but by not taking my time to settle back in, it definitely hurt me in the long run.”

On April 24, McClanaghan returned to Syracuse to share his story with SU athletes and athletic staff. During the presentation, he referenced his essay, “Do Not Disturb,” an in-depth account of his battle with mental health published in The Player’s Tribune. 

McClanaghan’s vivid descriptions revealed his desire to be alone following his father’s passing. His inability to display true emotions to friends and colleagues became more clear. That inability was a problem he had dealt with since his playing days.

McClanaghan’s recount touched two athletes in attendance — Teisha Hyman and Abdi Salim. Prior to this year, significant injuries sidelined both from their respective sports.

Hyman, a guard on the women’s basketball team, first tore her ACL four years ago while on the brink of becoming a 2,000-point scorer at Woodlands High School in White Plains, New York. It was the first time that an injury forced her to leave a game. 

“Mentally it was a lot and recovery was very long,” Hyman said. “ I really couldn’t play basketball for a whole year. I wasn’t even allowed to have a ball in my hand for six months.”

For as long as Hyman could remember, basketball served as an outlet for her in times of distress. Without basketball, Hyman turned to videogames as her next-best distraction. If she wasn’t playing first-person shooter games or trying to level up her MyPlayer in NBA2K, Hyman said she found solace in movies and drawing. Hyman said she’d play videogames everyday with her friends.

“That kind of carried me through my injury, just hearing a friend on the game,” Hyman said.

Describing herself as antisocial, Hyman said she stayed to herself for most of her freshman year, allocating her time exclusively to her dorm and the gym. But near the end of her first season at SU, Hyman suffered her second ACL tear in three years.

“Basketball was taken away from me for a second time,” Hyman said. “But I told myself I was going to be mentally stronger. I wasn’t going to get down and I was going to have better faith. Mentally I was in a better space.”

Salim, a defender for the men’s soccer team, partially tore his ACL and his meniscus and suffered cartilage damage in his first year at SU in a spring game against Bowling Green. The game was played in Buffalo, so Salim had urged his friends to come watch him play.

In a non-contact injury, Salim reaggravated a minor knee issue and was ruled out for the rest of the season, and his summer plans of competing in the United Soccer League were shattered. Salim had to stay in Syracuse that summer to rehab for the upcoming fall season.

“It was just me. I was the only one here,” Salim said. “So I told myself I was going to put my head down and grind.”

Salim stayed on campus, racing toward a recovery he hoped would come in August. As the months ticked away and his teammates returned, Salim still didn’t feel near match-fit. After a check-in with physicians at the start of the season, Salim knew he wasn’t ready to play.

The pain constantly fluctuated, adding to Salim’s frustration. On some days, he felt like he could jog and jump with ease, but on others, it felt like he would never be able to run again. He said that the highs and the lows took a major toll on his mental health.

“I was worried that I’d never be the same again,” Salim said. “I couldn’t cut the same. I couldn’t run the same. I kept telling myself I was going to be horrible.”

After publishing his article in 2019, McClanaghan continued to host talks about mental health, depression and anxiety. He believes it’s a major problem right now, especially for young athletes like Hyman and Salim.

His primary message is, “you need to take care of yourself first. Pay attention to yourself, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and your world will become better,” McClanaghan said.

Hyman and Salim focused on themselves in different ways. Hyman found comfort in her distractions like videogames while Salim enjoyed long drives around Syracuse.

“I think people have to develop a coping skill,” Hyman said. “A distraction to help deal with whatever they’re going through.”

McClanaghan, a walk-on in the early 2000’s, remembers that his ability to stand up to anybody helped him gain respect from his teammates. As a self-described brash and arrogant player, McClanaghan admitted he wouldn’t reveal his sensitive side to his teammates in fear that they’d lose respect for him.

“With mental health, I think that the more you talk about it, the more you get off your chest, and that’s my best advice,” McClanaghan said. “Know that whatever you’re feeling is completely normal.”

When it comes to expressing herself, Hyman said her words sometimes fail when attempting to communicate her feelings. However, in her search for someone to confide in, Hyman knows her mom will always be on the same wavelength.

“We’re like twins in a way,” Hyman said. “She just gets me.”

For Salim, he likes to think of himself as someone who raises the mood in the room, taking pride in his bright, white smile. But during the lonely summer months of his recovery, assistant athletic trainer Mike Mangano lent him an ear.

“That’s my guy,” Salim said of Mangano. “We were together all summer long and he was always there to tell me it was going to get better.”

McClanaghan explained that mental health is a never-ending process. He added that everyone has their bad days and that’s okay, but the next step is to learn how to deal with and openly talk about it.

“Up to this point, everyone’s been through something,” Salim said. “Don’t bottle that s*** up. Let that s*** go.”

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255, text HOME to 741741 or visit SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for additional resources.

Published on May 15, 2022 at 10:50 pm

Contact Tyler: trschiff@syr.edu | @theTylerSchiff