Click here for the Daily Orange's inclusive journalism fellowship applications for this year


Crush: Lightsaber chopsticks

First, please pick your jaws off of the floor. Chopsticks? And lightsabers? ‘Star Wars’ and sushi?! This is a union so beautiful that George Lucas might even pause to think about its genius. It doesn’t take a Jedi mind trick to realize the brilliance of this invention. Mankind should probably just give up now because nothing it creates will ever be as cool as this beautiful piece of culinary art.

The lightsaber chopsticks come in three different colors, giving a choice for every dish in which you choose to indulge. Of course, there are the red Darth Vader chopsticks for those who enjoy a little sadism with their pork fried rice. For those who believe in a better tomorrow as much as they believe that lightsaber chopsticks will impress their dinner date, there’s Luke Skywalker’s blue lightsaber. For all you takeout veterans, Yoda’s green chopsticks will vanquish any lo mien dish like a Sith Lord.

While it would be pretty cool if these chopsticks actually were lightsabers instead of cheap plastic, also remember that as cool as this would be, it would also be impossible to grab anything. Sure, your food would always be nice and hot, but we’re pretty sure mouth burns aren’t included in the Jedi health benefits plan.

As for all you moochers: beware. Just try taking the General Tso’s chicken of a proud lightsaber chopstick wielder. We promise it will be the last foolish mistake you will ever make. But what happens if both parties wield these tools of destruction? Whatever it is, we’re sure it will be cooler than any of the ‘Star Wars’ prequels. At just 50 space bucks (that’s roughly $20 in U.S. currency) these bad boys are available for all fans and takeout enthusiast alike. Force push and Sith lightening not included.

– Complied by Flash Steinbeiser, feature editor, ansteinb@syr.edu







Top Stories