Hitch

2.5 out of 5

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day I am going to attempt to bridge the gap between the sexes for but a brief period of time in an effort to show that, in some respects, we really aren’t all that different.

It is a law of nature that certain film genres are tailored to men and some to women. Guys generally dig on science fiction, women, on the other hand, regularly feast upon the romantic comedy. Dudes like horror, chicks love sweeping ‘boy meets girl’ drama. Men flock to action, ladies adore romantic ‘boy meets girl’ dramadies. But it would be ignorant to say any of the above categories are not regularly rife with clichs and copycats.

Your girlfriend knows Jason Biggs is going to get the girl, but she doesn’t care any more than you care that Bill Pullman will kill all the zombies in the last scene. We both just want to see how it happens. In the end, the fairer sex just happens to prefer grand, public romantic gestures more then they like flamethrowers.

I know, go figure.

It is with that introduction that everyone should realize ‘Hitch’ doesn’t reinvent the wheel, but then again the wheel is secure enough so it doesn’t fly off the car causing the vehicle to violently flip and jackknife into rush hour traffic either.

The plot centers around a ‘date doctor’ who helps a hapless, awkward accountant (Kevin James) snare the woman of his dreams, while he himself gets all caught up with a sassy gossip columnist (Eva Mendes) who is hot on the trail of the infamous ‘date doctor.’

Then all of the zany complications you just thought up in your head happen, everyone winds up happily ever after and we all learn a valuable lesson about the walls we put up and how you might just be keeping out the partner of your dreams with your own insecurities.

(Cue fawning).

The film ultimately raises itself to the point of Above Average genre film on the backs of its talent. Smith is affably charming as always, and Mendes plays the role of conflicted single woman/journalist as well as she plays her regular role of Total Fox. But it is really James, playing more of a mediocre Viceroy of Midtown Manhattan, who shines as the socially retarded Albert.

Sure you’ve seen it before but if your girlfriend sat through ‘Rollerball’ you could probably pick your spots worse than taking the hit on ‘Hitch.’

Then again, if Amber Valetta’s head exploded when sunlight hit it, this would be a five-star review.

Published on February 10, 2005 at 12:00 pm