Internet corner: HowManyWouldItTake.com
On a scale of one to 10, I think I’m pretty damn sexy. But there’s only one way to tell for sure.
It’s HOTorNOT.com, the website that allows friends, family and complete strangers to assign a numerical value not just to your physical attractiveness, but also to your dignity, self-respect and overall value to society.
Since its creation in October 2000, HOTorNOT has logged more than 2 billion votes and become a veritable Internet phenomenon – the final word, if you will, on beauty, sex appeal and the perfect human form. A coveted perfect-10 rating carries more weight than any modeling contract, any hot date or any astounding sexual conquest. When everyone’s a computer nerd, it’s the perfect pick-up line. But when you’re that hot, you won’t need one.
Beer Goggles
The success of HOTorNOT has spawned a handful of parodies and rip-offs, but only one gets our functional-alcoholic seal of approval. HowManyWouldItTake.com asks, in online-vote form, the question that’s perpetually on the tip of our tongues: How much beer do we need to get laid?
The site replaces the traditional one-to-10 voting system with the innovative beer scale, which offers 10 options, from sober to 30 pack. Participants put themselves at the mercy of the drunken blur, and it’s brutal – the hottest picture online right now scored 4.9 beers. Or one keg stand.
Well, we’re not impressed. To show How Many Would It Take the real meaning of hotness, we’re putting ourselves online and inviting Syracuse University students, faculty and staff (ESPECIALLY staff) to decide just how drunk they’d have to be to have their way with us. And in the end, everybody gets laid.
The Contestants
Tito Bottitta
Editor in Chief
Tito’s learned a lot at SU, but then again, when you spend 18 years here, you’re bound to pick something up. At least he has a diploma to show for – wait a minute …
Justin Young
Managing Editor
Whether he’s passed out drunk or blacked out in a three-piece suit, this stallion’s on his way to the top – or at least to the Public Safety reports.
Rob Howard
Feature Editor
This strapping young lad has guaranteed he’ll score with less than 3 beers – or one roofie.
Jared Novack
Presentation Director
Thanks to his demanding job and his even more demanding love life, he hasn’t slept in three days. But it’s OK – he’s hotter at 4 a.m.
Eric Grzymkowski
Asst. Feature Editor
They may call him Snowflake, but no one’s warmer and cuddlier than this irresistible editor. Next time you get skunked, he’ll be there to turn up the heat.
Dana Moran
Asst. Feature Editor
Only the most adept of lovers can satisfy this voluptuous vixen, and that’s why she only reads one section of the paper: sports.
Leyla Heckrotte
Design Editor
She thought she was too good for the challenge, so resorted to our old stand-by: naked picture blackmail.
Kizzie Spanjer
Design Editor
When she’s not baring her midriff on the Pulp page, she’s questing for a threesome with a handsome set of twins. We’ll bring the webcam.
Anne Kenady
Design Editor
Make no mistake, this is one classy hoe. She must get it from her roommates.
Meg Paradise
Design Editor
She’s got a porn-star name, but don’t worry, she’s innocent and pure. Wait, no – definitely a porn star.
The How Many Would It Take? challenge ends Thursday night, so cast your vote for The D.O.’s racy, seductive editors today.
Published on November 18, 2003 at 12:00 pm