Bottle openers
Even the most dedicated partiers sometimes need a little encouragement. So when hooking up and drowning sorrows wasn’t motivation enough to down a few, the drinking game was born. There’s no shortage of games out there, all with countless variations and unwritten rules. We know house party favorites like Beer Pong (or Beirut) and Flip Cup, and everyone is sure they’ve created the perfect version of Asshole or Kings.
But what happens when there’s no huge party, no Beer Pong opponents and no deck of cards? The skilled social drinkers at The Daily Orange have developed a series of new games to slightly blur everyday life in Syracuse. So wrap your beverage of choice in a brown paper bag and follow our simple instructions to spice up your daily campus routine.
The Internet
The computer system here is even less reliable than your expired, fake New Jersey ID, so take one drink every time the Internet goes down. If CMS sends someone over who doesn’t know how to double-click, drink two.
The Bookstore
Sure it’s in ‘alphabetical order,’ but the bookstore is still a maze. Every time you get lost or see someone who is, take a drink. If a book you need is out of stock, drink two. And when your total comes to more than $500, drink three and hope your parents take out a second mortgage.
Recitation
If you have a TA that speaks little or no English, take a swig. Drink two every time you slip a swear word into a sentence without him noticing.
The Gym
Odds are you’re already tipsy, so stay away from the heavy machinery. Every time a weird, wrinkled old man walks around the locker room naked, take a drink. Every time you get caught checking out the cute girl on the treadmill, drink two. To work up the confidence to talk to her, drink 14.
The Quad
Drink one every time a freshman passes wearing the orange Class of ’07 shirt. Drink two if you get hit by a Frisbee or see a group of girls studying on the grass. Drink three if they’re actually just sunbathing.
The Dorm
Every time you lock yourself out of your room, drink one. If you’re half-naked at the time, drink two. If it’s not because you just got out of the shower, drink four.
Accents
They say we lack diversity at SU, but at least Boston, Long Island and New Jersey are well-represented. Next time someone forgets to hide an accent, drink one. If their friend makes fun of them or says ‘Jersey represent,’ smack them in the face and drink three.
The Police Blotter
Start reading the Syracuse Police and Public Safety crime reports in The D.O. When public property gets vandalized, drink one. If someone’s car gets stolen, drink two. When a bar gets busted, drink three. If there was a double homicide while all the cops were ticketing students – it might be time to transfer.
Congratulations! You’re now a professional weekday drinker. Drink one the next time someone calls you an alcoholic. If you’d rather drink two, it’s probably true.
Published on August 27, 2003 at 12:00 pm